Absolutely nothing fits abso'bloody'lutely nothing, nada, nish, not a a sodding thing. How the hell has this happened? I feel likes its happened overnight but the reality is it hasn't.
I work part time and save all my annual leave up like a bank account and take a hefty 3 months off every year. (then cry I'm poor after my leave). When I'm due back to work I start to wake with night sweats dreaming that I can't fit into my uniform. The closer its gets the more I wake up then I call in the the big dogs. Healthy eating nope what I do is I will start to bargain with God "please God please get me in my uniform ...please please.....pretty please......I'll never ask you for another ever favour again..this week", I hastily add the onto the end . This how me and God work !!
One morning I get up to get ready for work its the middle of the night 330am Im wearing full makeup hair blown and stereotypical air hostess bun in place . I go to put on my work skirt when no word of a lie ,the waistband won't go past my knees ,omigod I have big knees . Do I phone crewing "sorry I can't come to work today I've put weight on and my skirt doesn't fit ." My boss will love that , my cheeks start to tingle ,my heart is going to beat out of my chest.
Bargaining with God is about to start any minute. I'm on the verge of greasing my self up with the Lucy Bee coconut oil out of the kitchen cupboard.(it's famous for its million uses incase you haven't heard!!) . Hopping from foot to foot in my underwear after all its like a quick burst of cardio maybe that will help me drop a stone in a minute and that the noise of it will wake God up and he will be like "Jesus woman I'll get you in the blasted skirt if you be quiet and let me get back to sleep."
No messing God pulls through, he honestly pulls through. Don't get me wrong I have suddenly been granted a miracle and he's knocked three stone off me. But what he has done is made me look at the size on the label of my skirt. I have drawers of old uniform bits when I look at the size on my work skirt that can't go past my big old knees , its only my old small size 10 work skirt that I wore a couple of years ago when I used to run a daily 10km before damaging my knee. I 'd only ironed the wrong work skirt . Bittersweet is this triumph As the saying goes 'god works in mysterious ways' he certainly certainly does . "Thank you, thank you, thank you " I keep repeating as I fish my generous size 14 skirt out the drawer and hastily iron it . Legging it out the door I jump in my car , nooooo this can't be happening to me . Only petrols is on the red. Im going to be late no time to fill up "Please God.........I really really promise I really won't ask another favour again ......if you'll just...."
I work part time and save all my annual leave up like a bank account and take a hefty 3 months off every year. (then cry I'm poor after my leave). When I'm due back to work I start to wake with night sweats dreaming that I can't fit into my uniform. The closer its gets the more I wake up then I call in the the big dogs. Healthy eating nope what I do is I will start to bargain with God "please God please get me in my uniform ...please please.....pretty please......I'll never ask you for another ever favour again..this week", I hastily add the onto the end . This how me and God work !!
One morning I get up to get ready for work its the middle of the night 330am Im wearing full makeup hair blown and stereotypical air hostess bun in place . I go to put on my work skirt when no word of a lie ,the waistband won't go past my knees ,omigod I have big knees . Do I phone crewing "sorry I can't come to work today I've put weight on and my skirt doesn't fit ." My boss will love that , my cheeks start to tingle ,my heart is going to beat out of my chest.
Bargaining with God is about to start any minute. I'm on the verge of greasing my self up with the Lucy Bee coconut oil out of the kitchen cupboard.(it's famous for its million uses incase you haven't heard!!) . Hopping from foot to foot in my underwear after all its like a quick burst of cardio maybe that will help me drop a stone in a minute and that the noise of it will wake God up and he will be like "Jesus woman I'll get you in the blasted skirt if you be quiet and let me get back to sleep."
No messing God pulls through, he honestly pulls through. Don't get me wrong I have suddenly been granted a miracle and he's knocked three stone off me. But what he has done is made me look at the size on the label of my skirt. I have drawers of old uniform bits when I look at the size on my work skirt that can't go past my big old knees , its only my old small size 10 work skirt that I wore a couple of years ago when I used to run a daily 10km before damaging my knee. I 'd only ironed the wrong work skirt . Bittersweet is this triumph As the saying goes 'god works in mysterious ways' he certainly certainly does . "Thank you, thank you, thank you " I keep repeating as I fish my generous size 14 skirt out the drawer and hastily iron it . Legging it out the door I jump in my car , nooooo this can't be happening to me . Only petrols is on the red. Im going to be late no time to fill up "Please God.........I really really promise I really won't ask another favour again ......if you'll just...."
Have a great week
Ang x
Furcoatbigknickersblog.blogspot.com
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